Fifty Shades Darker

After their tumultuous falling out Anastasia Steele (Dakota Johnson) and Christian Grey (Jamie Dornan) manage to patch things up under a renegotiation of terms in their relationship, this time no secrets and moving at a pace determined by Anastasia; but, the playing field is loaded with jealous exes and oh’s, how will this beauty and beast ever manage to make it as a couple? It must be their ravenous hunger for each other? Directed by James Foley and written by Niall Leonard based on E.L. James’s source material, two observations stand out immediately 1) Dialogue in this chapter is worthy of praise from Tommy Wiseau (look him up, then go see The Room) and 2)This installment is racier than its predecessor within the first 15 minutes; which is to say, if Fifty Shades of Grey left you feeling sexually frustrated, confused, or let down, there’s plenty of simulated sex acts to satisfy any regular watcher of Game of Thrones. But who are we kidding, this makes the film sound palpable as soft core porn masked in a fairytale penned with the intellect of a thirteen year old’s understanding of BDSM….wait a minute, that might be accurate, not even Danny Elfman’s score punctuated with slow jamz to get your groove on can save this, worse yet, the committed press core are probably asking “how are we going to tolerate the thrilling 3rd installment due out in 2018?” Pass…unless you’re a glutton for punishment….wait a minute, that came out wrong too. Fifty Shades Darker is rated R….obviously.