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Lifeguard Mitch Buchannon (Dwayne Johnson) is in the unique position of hiring several new recruits for the lifeguard squad on his beach; assemble the dysfunctional help including Matt Brody (Zac Efron), Summer Quinn (Alexandra Daddario), CJ Parker (Kelly Rohrbach), Stephanie Holden (Ilfenesh Hadera) and Ronnie Greenbaum (Jon Bass). Meanwhile a strange new breed of drug seems to be washing ashore, a drug that could destroy property values for the entire beach, what’s the bigger play, who’s behind it, and who can stop it?….It’s got to be Baywatch! Directed by Seth Gordon and written by a small army of writers this semi-raunch comedy and send-up of the original TV series pokes a modicum of fun at itself in a simple MacGuffin trope that overstays its welcome a few minutes too many, unraveling a dry mystery with little actual suspense. And, with a laugh count that comes in a little low for it’s efforts, instead settling for a few out loud chuckles, the justification for a full ticket price just isn’t there. Perhaps a matinee or rental later, Baywatch is rated R.

Hunted by the undead and ghostly Captain Salazar (Javier Bardem), Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) is convinced to go in search of Poseidon’s trident by Henry Turner (Brenton Thwaites); but, this will take the help of Carina Smyth (Kaya Scodelario) and the usual band of pirate misfits. Who will escape with their lives? Directed by Joachim Rønning and Espen Sandberg it’s fairly evident this fifth installment in the Pirates catalog did in fact have some semblance of a plan or complete story before shooting began, but as far as true creative brilliance goes, freshness appears to be less of a concern, instead, re-treads of a lot of common material seems to be the modus operandi. And, for those who want to hang out in the familiar fictional world of pirates and creatures of the deep for two hours and nine minutes, this will sit just fine on the shelf with the rest of your collection, not the bottom of the barrel and not the cream at the top, enjoy it for what it is. Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales is rated PG-13.