Machete Kills
Upon the threat of a stolen weapon being launched into space, the U.S. Government/President (Charlie Sheen/Carlos Estevez) hires the unkillable, unflappable, and downright deadly Machete (Danny Trejo) to put a stop to the madness. To take on the job Machete will need assistance from several friends old and new, Luz and Miss San Antonio (Michelle Rodriguez and Amber Heard). But not everything is as it seems in this bloody gambit of mayhem, weaponry and chaos. Also on the trail is the deadly assassin known as El Camaleon portrayed by Walt Goggins, Cuba Gooding Jr., Lady Gaga, and Antonio Banderas. It’s a star studded massacre, but will Machete get his man, or will we find a setup to Machete Kills Again…In Space?
Thinly plotted, written and directed by grindhouse lover Robert Rodriguez, Machete Kills delivers exactly what sploitation audiences are looking for and expecting. Tacky jokes, irreverent action, ridiculous setups, gallons of blood, explosions o plenty, and heaving cleavage. What? You were expecting Pulitzer prize writing or Tolstoy level drama? I’m sorry…no I’m not, This is Machete, a story about a badass with a machete that avenges evil doers and fights for justice no matter what flag he’s under. Albeit, runtime could have been cut a little shorter but Rodriguez keeps chopping for the jugular as if to say “you can’t control Machete, Machete takes NO direction!” It’s just plain nutty, and mildly worth sitting through the credits for, just go with it. Machete Kills is rated R.